Ball of Nerves

So MC is off for his scholarship interview today. I’m a ball of nerves right along side him. He was chosen to interview for the top scholarship at his first school choice, which is a full ride including room and board. There are several others that offer a little less at each level down you go; one is a full ride and no room and board, another just offers more than their base merit scholarship (he is already qualified for the merit scholarship based on GPA and test scores).

This is nearly a full day event that he is attending and includes multiple interviews with different people. He was a little stressed (understatement!) over the last several days. I couldn’t be more proud of him and how he is handling it all, though. He did tons of research on potential questions and did his best to prepare for having some answers to those questions. Even though I’m pretty certain there will still be questions he doesn’t expect, he will still be going into them feeling ready.

I did want to do a little head smacking when he mentioned that he finally read some of the “fine print” on the scholarships and realized that there are a few strings he wasn’t expecting (because of course he didn’t look that deep before applying for them). Like the requirement that you be an active ambassador for the school at several events throughout the year (like today’s competitive scholarship day). Each level had slightly different requirements, with the top even including being the ambassador in media and TV. For someone as introverted as MC, this threw him for a loop, bringing on a massive dose of doubts.

After a lot of conversations, he has realized that as much as he will probably hate having to do those things if he wins any of these scholarships, they would be really good for him overall. The fact that he didn’t panic and pull out of the interview made me even more proud of him.

I have no clue when he is supposed to be notified if he does get one of these, so even though he makes it through today and can breathe without being stressed out, he is still going to be on edge until he hears something.

Me? I’ll be sitting on the sidelines being a proud, nervous wreck.

Tree Pretties

I feel like I’m falling behind on where I should be as far as the holiday season goes. I think this is probably because it was a late Thanksgiving this year. Whatever the reason, it is starting to stress me out a bit.

Normally the kids would have given us their wish lists and we’d at least have started talking about what we want to do for them by now. The only thing that has been discussed is MC’s gift, which is actually also part graduation gift and something we all talked about and agreed on last year, a laptop that he will be able to take to college but is still powerful enough for him to play the games he likes. I haven’t a single clue what I’m going to do for any other gift. At all. Not BG. Not Hubby. Not my in-laws. Nada. Hell, I don’t even have any ideas to give to Hubby as something to get me. Not sure you can wrap up world peace and a cure for ignorance in a box and put it under the tree.

We are at the point where the gifts are very different because the kids are teens and the things they want aren’t the same as the latest cool toy (not that any of my kids were ever into that, unless it was a video game). It doesn’t help that my kids really don’t ask for much and never really have. Every once in a great while there will be something big, like the computer, but it is so rare.

BG mentioned wanting to go shopping for clothes, but that sort of changes the whole gift under the tree thing, so I’m not sure what I want to do about that either. I could be evil and take her, but tell her she can’t have any of it because it is still getting wrapped and put under the tree.

In years past, because of the madness that was holidays in this family, I practically had to beg them to add more things to their list just so I could pass along a gift idea to a family member. It got so bad I started to hate the whole gift concept even though I’ve always loved putting the time and thought into finding something meaningful and fun. I’m exceptionally grateful that I don’t really have to do this anymore.

It doesn’t help one bit that my normal level of creativity is currently flatlined. I’m going to need some inspiration soon, though.

 

Functioning Technology

I’d had my doubts that all my issues with my computer would be solved simply by replacing the power cord. I never knew that a laptop with a bad power cord could impact the speed of your internet connection to the point it was worse than trying to connect through dial up. Apparently that is absolutely what happens if your laptop recognizes that your power cord is bad and attempts to preserve battery through lowering performance. Now I know and I’ve given you a little tech tip for the day.

Thankfully, I’m now back up and running and I no longer feel like I’ve been banished from the world. The short time away did give me some time to think (not always a good thing) and I’ve decided that since I don’t have any review obligations (no open requests or NetGalley books due) through the end of the year, I’m going to just read to read until after the new year. If I manage to pick up something that strikes me as something I just really need to talk about, then I’ll post a review. For now, I’m going to take a reviewing break.

Part of the reason for this is all of the stuff that will be going on around the holidays. I really don’t want to go into the season already stressed with the pressure of trying to get too much done. It wouldn’t take much for me to just not want to put in the effort to do the fun stuff right now and I really don’t want that. I’ve still not been able to completely shake the crankies lately. The last thing I want is to make it worse.

We are also in full on “focus on college” mode with MC. He has been invited to interview for the top scholarship at his #1 school choice (and most likely where he is going to go even if he doesn’t get the scholarship), which I am crazy proud of, by the way. That means I have to take him to get a suit in the next week, something he has never even come close to wearing, so that is going to be so much fun. The kid that has spent his life in jeans and t-shirts with video game characters on them is going to have to wear a suit. He is probably more nervous about that than the interview itself.

I was a little frustrated with the information in the invitation as it also specifies it is a day for the parents to come, but doesn’t give any kind of timing or agenda, only the day. You have to RSVP that you are going to the interview and how many parents will be coming. Since it is a Saturday, it means that I’ve got to balance BG’s dance schedule with the interview schedule, but I don’t have a schedule for the interview day. It is also her last rehearsal before her Christmas program and she can’t miss it. There were too many unknowns for me to figure out if I could drop her off and still make it to MC’s thing (yes, the school is that close), we opted to just have Hubby go with him. I really hate it because I want to be there with him as well.

We don’t see too many conflicts with the kids activities and events often. The times we do, it stresses me the hell out and makes me feel like crap because I feel like I’m having to choose between my kids. When OC first started high school and we started paying attention to when graduation was held, I nearly had a panic attack over what would end up happening a few years down the road because, for a while there, graduation always fell the same day as recital. Thankfully, our district has pushed graduation from Saturdays to Sundays, so we will not have that as a problem this year. We will just have an extremely FULL weekend with Friday rehearsal, Saturday Recital and Sunday graduation.

Yes, I’m getting a bit ahead of myself and starting to already stress over it a bit, but when I’m having to think about all the college stuff now and MC hasn’t even graduated yet, my brain is just going to go there.

Can you tell I’m going to be kind of a mess through all of this?

 

Mom Version Of Drunk Dialing

We have a school day routine. I sleep while Hubby and the kids get ready for the day. Hubby lets me know when he’s leaving and MC sends me a text when it gets to school so I know he made it alive. The last piece is when Hubby calls after he gets to work, also to confirm he is alive and well and the idiot drivers he has to share the road with every day didn’t manage to kill him. For the most part, I’m still asleep through all of this.

This morning was epically weird. All the goings on pulled me into a weird state of sleep and I never dropped back into anything deep, so my brain apparently decided to mess with me. When Hubby calls, I tell him about my absolutely brainless mom moment (of which there have been a stunning amount lately, I really probably need to get my head checked) when I, for some insane reason, felt the need to call MC to check on him. Before his morning text. While he is driving to school. I’m half asleep while I do this and MC gives me the “Mom. I’m driving. I’ll text when I get there” frustrated response.

The whole thing has me flabbergasted. I haven’t a clue why I felt the need to make that call. Why it was imperative in that moment that I do so and that I recognize that I wasn’t entirely coherent in the process. I’m thinking that MC had to have thought that is what I sound like if I were to drunk dial him because it is certainly what it felt like. Hubby mentions that he is surprised MC even answered his phone while driving and that maybe in the future I need to message or call BG instead (since MC drives her to school with him). My son probably thinks his mom has lost her ever loving mind at this point.

In all honesty, I even have a hard time remembering much about the whole conversation with MC. I get off the phone with Hubby and promptly fall back asleep like I’ve taken some heavy duty meds. This is because I slept for crap the night before because I wasn’t feeling well. I didn’t fall asleep until probably well after 2 am and after I caved and got up to take something for the headache and sore muscles.

It wasn’t until I woke up much later and saw my normal daily “I’m here” text from MC and realized I’d slept right through it without responding that I examined the whole situation. I decided to go and look. Sure enough, there is no call to MC in my call history. I did not, in fact, sleep dial my son while he was driving to school and he did not answer and talk to his sleep calling mother. My brain did, in fact, mess with my head in an extreme way this morning. I did have the conversation with Hubby and he laughed his ass off when I called him again after I was fully awake and told him it was all a dream.

I really need to get my head checked. I apparently also really needed sleep.

My Brain Hurts

Yesterday’s frustration with the school stuff blew up into a cluster and I just cannot understand how it ended up that way or why the school made the decision to take some of the actions that they did. Those actions irrationally put some students in a position of potentially not being able to do their assigned work and created a butt load of stress and worry and frustration in the process. I understand some of the underlying motivations for why, but the reality of the follow through…

I think I’ll just say that this whole mess is a great example that technology is far, far from perfect and people don’t often think of all the more obscure issues that can pop up. There will always be a loophole that someone will exploit if they can find it. There will always be glitches. There will always be problems because it is so heavily a part of our lives that it is nearly impossible to be active in the daily world and not have access to it, especially when what you do requires that access.

It truly makes my brain ache to think of how far reaching and damaging the actions of a couple of ignorant kids can be.

It is a lesson and a reminder to everyone to stop and think long and hard before you click send or publish or post or pretty much anything that doesn’t have an undo button.

Responsibility And Consequences

Who bears actual responsibility and who should suffer the consequences of certain actions? In this situation, I’m talking about kids in general, but more specifically, teenagers. There are so many scenarios and times when a kid does something that the fingers start pointing everywhere. The parents. The schools. Video games. Music. Other kids. Pretty much anything and everything that can be pointed to other than just the kid.

No, this is not a simple, cut and dried concept. There are times when it is more than just the kid that is responsible, but so many times I see the finger pointing and the blame come out instinctually without anyone ever looking that the circumstances of the situation and putting that responsibility where it legitimately belongs. I’ve seen it first hand throughout my kids’ school years, both the blame and the praise.

Sadly, that finger pointing can lead to even bigger problems and consequences. I’ve been watching this unfold in our school over the last week. An incident involving some pretty ugly, awful words being shared around the school by a couple of kids has ended up in the news. The district has always been upfront, notifying parents about any incidents immediately, then following up later with more information if investigation was needed. This incident was no exception. They’ve investigated and issued punishments to the students involved, but the fingers have come out.

I read an opinion article in a local paper that points those fingers at administration and saying they didn’t do enough and that they should issue an apology and included some misrepresented facts and details about the situation which painted the entire school, including the student body, in a nasty light.

My kids are now concerned for their friends that play sports. Those kids are talking about being worried about the upcoming football game and how the other team is going to treat them. They are worried that the other team will view them as tainted by this situation and target them even though they had nothing to do with it and those words do not reflect who they are. All because the district is being called out for those students’ words and actions.

As volatile as things seem to be in this country, I don’t blame them for their concern. Those innocent kids are paying the price in stress and worry, and potentially their own safety. Not just for the actions of a couple of truly ignorant kids, but because people are dumping the responsibility for those kids’ horrific behavior on the district as a whole and the administration.

Is it fair to place blame on the administration and the district? I honestly don’t know. I only know bits of this from what I’ve gotten from the notices and the things the kids have told me. It seems they reacted immediately to shut the incident down and are taking some pretty extreme measures and actions with this. They have fully communicated the entire situation with parents and students along the way. This is apparently not enough for some. Is it their responsibility to apologize for the actions of a couple of kids intent on spreading some vile things? I really don’t know if that falls on their shoulders.

I do wonder how pointing the finger at the district instead of the kids that are at the heart of this does anything to make this situation better in any way. I can see that the finger pointing and blame is filtering down in a way it never should.

It Begins

I so adore starting my Monday cleaning a massive hairball off the wood floor. *sigh* And this is just the start of the insanity because dance starts this week for BG. This means that her assisting days also start this week. I only discovered last night that I’ve got to scramble this afternoon because MC has his gaming club right after school. That means I have to leave as soon as BG gets off the bus so I can run and pick MC up, race home back home, grab BG and take her to her first class she assists. Then I get to sit in my car for a hour while she does it.

This bit of crazy really won’t last but maybe a couple of weeks because we just almost have the car situation worked out and he will start driving himself to and from school. It doesn’t relieve the stress of Wednesdays when BG has to be at the studio at 4 but wouldn’t get off the bus until nearly 3:30 which is about the time we need to leave to get her there on time. I’m probably going to have to be picking her up from school on Wednesdays. Until MC gets comfortable doing this drive (which includes a stint on the highway) BG won’t be riding with him. We all have decided that we all need to be in agreement that he is ready before she will do that, that includes BG being comfortable with it. I have no time frame for that piece.

Have I mentioned that with BG assisting this year, I’m going to have to be at the studio, in my car, 3 different times a week? The 4th time she is there long enough for me to drop her off and come home or get stuff done. The other 3 times is only an hour so it makes no sense to drive the 20 minutes home to only be there for about 10 minutes before doing the 20 minute drive back.

There are reasons I’m pushing her to learn to drive ASAP. I’m hoping she will be able to get her license as soon as she turns 16 after the first of the year.

It’s a good thing I like to read.

Yet Another Milestone of Parenting

I will be taking BG out this afternoon to take her permit test so she can start to learn how to drive. It doesn’t seem possible, especially so soon after MC has gotten his license. On one hand, I’m thrilled about this because it means she is that much closer to being able to drive herself to the multiple days she has to be at the dance studio instead of me having to take her. At the same time, I’m so not ready for her to be old enough to be behind the wheel of a car. She isn’t quite old enough yet to get her actual license, only her permit, but still… my Baby Girl is way too far away from being an actual baby.

And He Passed!

MC is officially a licensed driver! I’d say, watch out on the roads, but… he is probably a better driver than I am. This event was a bit delayed for him for a variety of reasons out of his control, so I’m really excited for him.

Next up is going to be BG. She is old enough to get her permit and start learning to drive. Seeing how insane her schedule is with dance and being an assistant this year, I’m really going to push for her to start learning as soon as she can so she can take her test as soon as she turns 16. As it is right now, I’ll be taking her to the studio at least 4 days a week, so having her be able to drive is going to be critical.

Now to attempt to work out the whole car situation. Joys of parenting in a suburb.

Such A Funny, Funny Guy

Last night MC came down when I was playing with getting my new tablet set up. I’m all focused on that when he asks me a question, so… absolutely distracted and not really listening.

MC: I have a question about my calculus homework.
Me: Hmm? What? *still not entirely paying attention*
MC: I have a question about calculus.
Me *finally looking up*: Um … *vacant stare*
MC: *blank, expectant face*
Me: … Whhyyy… *sees the smirk forming* Why are you asking ME?! That’s math!
MC: *cracks up like the total shit he is* Yeah. I know. I’m just waiting for Dad.

Yeah, my kids know which parent to ask about which subjects. THAT is not the one to ask me about unless you goal is to fail the class.

Already?! It’s Only Day 2!

So BG has already had a fun event at school and it is only day 2. Last year, I think I posted about this kid at lunch that made her really uncomfortable during lunch at the beginning of the year. She quickly found a friend to sit with and that ended the situation without much fanfare or drama and never had an issue after that.

They didn’t have a normal lunch yesterday because of first day back activities, but BG has already learned that none of her friends are in her lunch period. She found a table that didn’t have anyone at it and sat there alone. When most everyone had made it in and was sitting, this kid from last year manages to find her table, which is still entirely empty, and sits in the seat right next to her. There are also other completely open tables in the lunch room and in the area of her table. But he chose to sit in the seat. RIGHT. NEXT. TO. HER. This kid then proceeds to be crude, chewing with his mouth open and attempting to talk to BG at the same time. She did her best to just sit quietly and ignore the kid, but he still persisted and made her exceptionally uncomfortable. He got up once to go get something and BG slid to another seat at the table, just to get some space because this kid doesn’t understand or care about some of those basic, unwritten social rules people tend to live by in an effort to avoid those awkward, uncomfortable situations.

She does not know this kid. She has never had a class with him before. She had never seen this kid before he sat next to her at lunch last year, and that lasted less than a week before she found some friends to sit with. Why this kid thinks it is okay is beyond me.

It is so incredibly frustrating because it is kind of this ugly, sticky situation. She is completely uncomfortable in all ways, but she doesn’t ever like to speak up, so she won’t say a word to this kid. She also won’t say anything to a teacher or a lunch monitor in an effort to get them to intervene because the kid hasn’t exactly done anything that would violate rules. She doesn’t like to rock the boat or do anything that could offend someone and is this whole other thing tied to the ugly fears in our schools nowadays. That whole “what if they are THAT kid?” If he has some sort of disorder that would make it hard or impossible for him to pick up on social cues (I have no clue if this is a fact, BG really can’t say one way or the other), it would make this a different kind of sticky, but it is still sticky.

Her solution to this problem is to talk to a teacher she had last year that is near her lunch room to see if she can come and eat in the teacher’s classroom instead (and may not get permission for any number of reasons). I get it. The school can’t fix a problem they don’t know about, but… She shouldn’t be forced to be uncomfortable. She shouldn’t have to fear speaking up when someone makes her feel that way. She shouldn’t have to find these exceptionally twisty, creative ways to avoid a situation that makes her that uncomfortable. It really is one of those “No real, good solution” kind of things and I honestly don’t know what the best advice is to give her. I just hope that the teacher she is going to approach will agree to let her eat in her room.

Did I mention this is only day 2? *sigh*

 

Bright, Sunshiny Day

It begins. I just saw MC off for his first day of being a Senior. My brain still hasn’t quite wrapped itself around that concept yet. Maybe I’ll have gotten a handle on it before he walks with his cap and gown. Maybe.

For now, I’m going to have a cup of coffee and one of our traditional first day of school treats: donuts. Then I have to wrestle our oldest cat off to the vet. Hopefully that will keep my mind from tying itself in knots over the Senior thing and the quiet in the house. At least for a while.

Getting School Minded

This is that crazy week that seems to be full of getting the kids ready to go back to school. Yesterday was registration for both MC and BG, but it was the last for MC. That is one of those gut knotting moments when you get an in your face reminder that one of your babies isn’t so much a baby any more. This will be his last year in high school. He will actually be graduating this year. With honors. I know this is only one moment in a long string of moments that will happen this year to hit me like this. I also know that all of them will be over and gone in a blink of an eye.

BG is taking yet another step into finding out more of who she is as she has been invited to be a dance assistant at her studio this year. It is sort of a big step for the awkward, slightly introverted girl she is. That means she will be adding another two hours to her time at the studio every week. It also adds at least one more performance to her end of the year recital, which was already getting an additional performance because she is now in the oldest group of dancers, reaching her own not a baby anymore milestone.

My babies aren’t babies anymore and haven’t been in a long time, but it still hits when you see these moments and recognize them for what they are. My kids are growing and becoming little adults and I’m so not ready for it. Are you ever?

Plastic Free July – Part 4: Glass Food Storage #2

This is a slightly expanded version of my glass food storage post the other day, focusing specifically on an alternative to prepackaged frozen dinners/microwave meals. Like so many other products out there, there just aren’t a whole lot of alternatives to the quick and easy frozen dinner that you just shove in the microwave for a few minutes. Especially if you have kids. Don’t get me wrong, I do a ton of cooking, but every once in a while I just don’t want to do that. I especially can’t stand having to cook 3 times a day over summer break, hence the frozen meals.

Most all of the frozen meals we’ve gotten over the years have come in a crappy plastic container with a thin layer of plastic over the top to seal it all in place. I’ve run across one that has switched their containers to a paper/cardboard version, but it still has the plastic film. Where I live, most of the containers are not recyclable, even if you wash them. The worst are the ones that my kids love for quick lunches over the summer a couple of times a week, so I really wanted to see if I could find SOMETHING that would work to replace them.

I found these awesome glass containers that are sectioned off, kind of like you see on little kids’ dishes. It is like the other containers I’ve bought where it has the silicone seal to give it a liquid tight fit. The cool part about that is that it has an additional line of that across one of the dividers to keep the sections from slipping into each other. The two sections that run parallel to each other, are not sealed from each other, so you’d have to pick and choose what to fill these sections with carefully.

For my first trial, we went with their top picks. A crappy fish stick and macaroni and cheese meal. The other one was pretty much identical, except it had chicken nuggets. We did some research and found a fish stick that came in a box and no plastic. We used the basic Kraft macaroni, though I knocked about 30 seconds off the cook time to try to keep the noodles from becoming mushy when reheated. We also found some chicken nuggets, but none that came in anything other than a plastic bag.

The fish sticks had to be cooked first, which was a little extra work, but I did all this on a day I planned to cook lunch so it didn’t require too much extra time. I just made more than what they were going to eat that day. Same with the macaroni. The nuggets were already cooked, so I didn’t do anything to them and left them frozen until I was ready to put these together.

Once the fish sticks and macaroni were done and cooled off, I divided everything into the different sections. The kids decided on a blend of their two favorites and these ended up being both fish sticks and chicken nuggets. Those went in the parallel sections and the macaroni went in the sealed off section. I did also add just a tad bit more milk in the hopes that this would stay on the creamy side.

Sectioned Glass Storage Container For Frozen Meals
Sectioned Glass Storage Container For Frozen Meals

Once these were all put together, I just popped them in the freezer. MC had one for the first time and they seem to have come out really well. Granted, these have only been in the freezer for about a week, but the plan seems to work. We still have a few bugs to work out on the cooking timing, but we got it really close with a defrost for about 45 seconds and then cooking it on high for another minute or two.

In this entire prep, I was able to recycle all the boxes and only threw away the macaroni cheese packets and the plastic chicken nugget bag. Out of that, I got 4 frozen meals and a different ratio of items for lunch for both kids that day, so a total of 6 meals. It eliminated tossing 6 plastic containers and 6 plastic films if I’d gone with the prepackaged meals instead.

Plastic Alternative/Replacement:
Alternative to prepackaged frozen dinner/microwave meals.

Pros:

  • Eliminates most if not all plastic in the prepackaged meals
  • Reusable
  • Microwave, Oven, Freezer, Dishwasher Safe (minus lids on all except freezer and storage)
  • Liquid tight seal on outside and between large sections
  • Potential long lifespan

Cons:

  • These are glass, therefore breakable, but not easily (most have good warranties against breakage)
  • You are limited on using and cleaning the lids because of both the plastic and the silicone.
  • Recommended hand washing the lid because of the silicone seal (even needing to remove the seal to dry)
  • Physical space needed to store when not in use
  • Plastic lids
  • Potentially shorter freezer life for meals
  • Time invested in prepping the meals
  • Cost

This was only a test run, but my kids were suitably impressed with this. There are downsides. If you aren’t someone that does a lot of cooking, this may be too much. You CAN potentially work these up with leftovers, whether you make the food yourself or you buy from a restaurant. You just don’t have control over things like I did with the macaroni to ensure it isn’t overcooked and mushy when it is reheated unless you make it yourself. Not all foods freeze and reheat well, so it is going to be a lot of trial and error, but I really like this whole concept. There are so many different options to this and your only real limits are size (MC thought this was almost too much for a lunch) and what does well frozen and heated this way.

The only other major downside to these (and a couple of other styles of glass containers) are the way these lids are made. They are a solid unit, including the snapping flaps. The plastic is just thinner, like a score line, where it bends rather than having separate pieces connected with a hinge (my set from the other day is hinged and I like that better). I don’t think that with these it is a question of whether or not that is going to break so much as when it is going to break. You can bet I’ll still try to find a way to make those suckers work if that does happen.

 

Another Proud Mama Moment!

MC just got his test score back for his AP Biology exam. He nailed a 5!!! Highest you can get and he was the only one in his class to do so. My boy is totally kicking high school’s ass! We have a few days before he is supposed to get his AP statistics score, but he felt he did pretty good after that test and isn’t worried about that score.

Plastic Free July: Doing My Part

A friend of mine shared a post about taking a pledge to be plastic free for the month of July.

This is something that I’ve been working on personally for a while now, but I’ve got a long way to go. Locally, recycling plastic isn’t the best and we are a lot more limited than I’d like (though we are getting better). That said, I’ve seen too often lately that even a lot of the plastics that say they can be recycled still end up in landfills because there just aren’t the facilities to process those plastics. I do my best to avoid those, but not many companies are going this route yet, so alternatives are still slim pickings. I am trying to dig in and find those alternatives, though.

So, in the spirit of this pledge, I’ll be doing a few posts throughout July on some of the alternatives I’ve found for some of my bigger plastic uses and what I think about how well they’re working for me. Feel free to jump in and share your own along the way. I’m always up for hearing ideas about how I can reduce or eliminate plastic altogether.

This may seem like barely a drop in the bucket in relation to so many other issues our kids will face in the future, but it is one drop that I can attempt to do something about. There are others as well, but I’m only focusing on the plastic issue here in these posts.

 

Fascinating: Aphantasia

A few weeks ago, MC came and started talking about this test. It kind of reminded me of the “what color is the dress” thing from a while back. The question was to picture a red star in our mind. Then he showed us a grid of options and we had to pick out the one we’d pictured. MC, Hubby and I were all doing this and BG was upstairs. The three of us all answered the same and with what seemed crazy obvious to us, a red 5 point typical star shape. Then MC went and asked his sister what she saw. I was absolutely stunned that she picked a blank, black square. I didn’t get it or understand it at all.

Continue reading “Fascinating: Aphantasia”

Daylily: Looking Up

Last night was MC’s crew game night. One of the guys wasn’t originally going to come, but ended up being able to at least be here for a while if not overnight, so I think it was kind of a momentous event for them. Then I got a moment to be THAT mom. The mom that your kid’s friends actually speak to, which is a feat in itself with this group as they are all massive introverts (one of the guys I see in the few seconds after he walks in the door, never to be seen again until he leaves).

Continue reading “Daylily: Looking Up”

One of Those Days

The picture here is of some flooding in the area and fits perfectly with how I feel today… overwhelmed with just too much!

I had a plan for today. I had a list of things I needed to do and was well on my way to getting them done. Mostly basic things like getting some cleaning done because MC is having his crew over for a gaming event/night. I also had an appointment to get a bid on one of two needed house repairs (that of course cannot be inexpensive ones). Then I get an email from the school.

Actually, Hubby called to ask about the email because he got it first. It was about getting MC’s senior pictures taken, but it was incredibly vague other than dates (tomorrow and Thursday) and a phone number. I was in the middle of cleaning and said I’d deal with it when I was done. Then MC is coming and saying that his friends are telling him those are the actual picture days. Mind you, this is the first and only senior picture communication we have gotten from the school.

I finish what I’m doing and call the number. Sure enough, some brain trust set up automated appointments (meaning they set them up for you and you are just supposed to show up) for all yearbook photos in the middle of summer and don’t bother to let anyone know until the day before you are required to show (two if you are lucky). This isn’t in any newsletter or email from the district. It isn’t on their website or calendar (I looked), it doesn’t exist outside of this one email. I did get them to say they would be at the school again in August where students would have to leave during class or lunch and get their photos taken then, but… missing class, having to wear the photo getup to school and keep it looking decent until photo time, not a great option.

Since MC is so not a dress up kinda kid, that meant a rush shopping job so that he actually has something to wear. Did I mention that there was zero information included in that lovely email? As in, not one word about dress code? When OC went through this a few years ago (same district, same school), there were some very specific rules on what could and could not be worn for these photos. Granted, those rules really do not fit with kids these days and, from the pictures in last year’s year book, they have not been enforcing those rules, but I had no clue what to get. I cannot imagine MC in a suit and tie or even just a shirt and tie. He couldn’t either, so we just decided to go with it and he found a nice polo, which is still dressier than some in the year book. I can only hope this does not cause problems.

I also have to get his hair trimmed up tonight since his friends will be here tomorrow and overnight. And I still have a couple things I need to do to get ready for that crew. We kind of lucked out on this for a couple of reasons. 1) We are here and can actually make his scheduled appointment. I feel bad for those families that are gone on vacation right now or those that have to work and can’t get off because they have no options other than the August date. 2) These are only for the yearbook photos. You can work with them to set up a time for a longer, more personalized session, but MC decided months ago that he wants me to do his senior portraits for him (not that I’m thrilled with that as I don’t do photos of people well, but… I’m gonna give it my best), so we only have to worry about the yearbook photos.

What is really stupid about this whole mess is the utter lack of communication or any kind of standard process. The district has been using the same photography group for years, so why in the hell have you not established a regular, workable plan and stick with it? The kids told me they did it entirely different last year, which was different from when OC did his. I get it. Most families around here go with their own photographers for senior sessions (if they do them at all) and only use the school photographer for the yearbook photo, but you can still not make it into this convoluted mess to get those done.

Moment of Gratitude

I had this moment of realization yesterday when I was contemplating writing my review for my first ever ARC. I am kind of living in this moment of fantasy right now. I am at a place in my life I never dreamed I’d be outside of those “Wouldn’t it be nice?” kinds of thoughts. Yet, here I am. And I am astoundingly grateful for it.

I have now gotten a second ARC approval and it is another book on my list of “I’d LOVE to get, but probably never will.” This was part of that moment of realization. Yes, it is only two books, but… I am now getting books for the express purpose of reviewing them before most people get their hands on them. That is an amazing thing to me.

I have also actually done something I never thought I’d EVER do: I wrote and published my own book. And it is selling. It is making the kind of impact with readers that I’d hoped for. It may still be very much on the tiny scale of things, but it is on the scale. This is also stunning to me.

As a person that has spent the bulk of their adult life focused on being Mom and struggling for years with who I am outside of that role, these things are massive for me. I am in awe that these are now facts in my life, that they are a tangible part of that life. It is though I can feel how these seemingly small things are cementing their place in who I am.

There have been so many things over time and throughout my life that have been damaging and hurtful. Because of that, I have actively spent the last several years trying to find the positive things, the things that bring me joy and most days, I’m good at finding those things. Photography has been a huge part of that for me. So have my kids and my Hubby. But these things? They feel different. They feel healing in a very different way. They make me feel a little bit more solid in who I am.

And I am massively grateful.