Had A Moment

Hubby and I were talking about the current sales numbers and results of my Amazon ad. I’m being all excited about those number and how it was impacting my rankings and all of those things. He says something, and I can’t honestly remember what exactly. Something about how he hopes that might translate into reviews I think. Anyway, that was the moment the numbers fell away and I realized those numbers also meant people READING my book. Like actual eyes on the words I wrote. And that they paid money to read those words.

It was kind of like walking into a swarm of bees. I felt like my heart stuttered for a moment and I couldn’t decide if I I was going to laugh or cry or vomit.

It’s really weird. I know, logically, that people that purchase my book are reading it. I’ve had some of you guys not only read it but tell me you did and what you thought, but… I kind of know you so I guess it was different? Maybe? Same thing with people that have or are reading it for review somehow seem to fall into a very different group because I’ve said “Hey, would you mind doing this? Oh, and here’s a copy! THANKS!”

The whole realization just hit me funny and I have spent the last couple of hours with my head a bit of a mess. I’m excited and freaked out and slightly panicky all at the same time.

So, I’m having a bit of a moment and working towards breathing. I’m mostly past it, but every once in a while when I really stop and think about it, my stomach flips over again and my heart feels like it is going to fall out of my chest. I’ll do my best to keep the gore off the screen.