I had this moment of realization yesterday when I was contemplating writing my review for my first ever ARC. I am kind of living in this moment of fantasy right now. I am at a place in my life I never dreamed I’d be outside of those “Wouldn’t it be nice?” kinds of thoughts. Yet, here I am. And I am astoundingly grateful for it.
I have now gotten a second ARC approval and it is another book on my list of “I’d LOVE to get, but probably never will.” This was part of that moment of realization. Yes, it is only two books, but… I am now getting books for the express purpose of reviewing them before most people get their hands on them. That is an amazing thing to me.
I have also actually done something I never thought I’d EVER do: I wrote and published my own book. And it is selling. It is making the kind of impact with readers that I’d hoped for. It may still be very much on the tiny scale of things, but it is on the scale. This is also stunning to me.
As a person that has spent the bulk of their adult life focused on being Mom and struggling for years with who I am outside of that role, these things are massive for me. I am in awe that these are now facts in my life, that they are a tangible part of that life. It is though I can feel how these seemingly small things are cementing their place in who I am.
There have been so many things over time and throughout my life that have been damaging and hurtful. Because of that, I have actively spent the last several years trying to find the positive things, the things that bring me joy and most days, I’m good at finding those things. Photography has been a huge part of that for me. So have my kids and my Hubby. But these things? They feel different. They feel healing in a very different way. They make me feel a little bit more solid in who I am.
I managed to catch another stunning sunset last night. I really need to make an effort to try and get to a park by here at sunset so I can get slightly better shots without the houses in the way.
I ended up taking the first several shots from the back yard before running down to the end of my street to get a slightly different angle. I had forgotten that it sits a little lower and the trees are closer so that you can’t see as much of the horizon, so the sunset looked really different just with that small change.
I came back to my yard, but moved around to different places trying to get the best vantage. On the way, I grabbed a shot of the moon which couldn’t be left out. There are a few thin clouds hanging out around it, but they didn’t show up that clearly.
There is something extremely powerful about such vivid colors in the sky, whether it is a sunset or a sunrise, that always leaves me in awe. The fact that my new camera does such a phenomenal job of rendering that color so closely is amazing and makes it worth every penny.
I was too late to catch this in a prime location last night, so I had to sneak it between house roofs. The colors were AMAZING! I’m actually floored at how good my camera grabbed the colors last night.
I noticed the color of the clouds out the windows opposite the sunset were just lightly tinged pink and I knew this was going to be stunning. I can’t actually see the sunset from any of my windows because of the positioning of our house.
Most of the time I get an idea of how nice it’s going to be because of the reflection off the windows of the houses behind us.
I grabbed my camera and ran out back to get these. There was this small line of faint, fluffy clouds just overhead that had the edge tinted pink and the moon was playing peek-a-boo with them.
In all I was only outside for maybe 5 minutes before the colors faded. I was lucky to get what I did.
Last night after the blow up of drama (way more happened than I posted), I needed some time to just step away. The weather was beautiful and so was the sky, so I took advantage, grabbed my camera and went for a much needed walk.
BG had one of her final dance classes last night. It was a long one, so I planned on dropping her off instead of staying like normal, but she ended up feeling really crummy. To be on the safe side in case she wanted to leave, I needed to stay. I took my book to keep me busy, but at the last minute, I grabbed my camera, too. Her studio isn’t exactly in a pretty area, so this was totally a whim thing. I am so glad I did.
I just lucked out last night and noticed an approaching storm near sunset. It was coming from a direction that is hard to see with the window placement in our house, but I noticed it and went to take care of some things outside when I got a good look at how incredible it looked. All the different textures and colors in the clouds were amazing. And to think, I would have missed it if I hadn’t gone outside at the right moment because of how quickly everything got dark and changed.
One part of my supercalifuckyoulistic day yesterday was when MC told Hubby and I that a kid on the bus singed he hairs on his arm with a lighter, split open the seat with a pocket knife and proceeded to try to burn the foam inside. Yeah, it was that kind of day.
Last week was hard. Hubby and I made the decision to drop OC from our insurance. It feels like I’m failing as a parent or that I’m a bad parent because I’ve taken that last safety net away. Knowing he doesn’t want it doesn’t change how I feel about it. We decided that we could not give him another opportunity to carelessly or thoughtlessly harm us or the other kids and he could very easily do so as long as he was covered under our plan. Continue reading “Out of Sorts”
My day started off fine and I got a lot done with a few errands, but it started to fall apart when I went to paint the trellises I’m supposed to be putting between a few of the bushes Hubby and I got planted over the weekend. Two cans of spray paint later and I have one half of one trellis painted with another half and three whole ones left. So, spray paint is out and I’m going to have to go another route.
Between that, the news, and the horrid fumes that are now permeating my entire house even though I have windows open, I just want to be somewhere else for a while. A beach would be nice, though even those aren’t looking so appealing at the moment with the weather off of Florida. For those in the area, be safe.
Instead of a beach, I’m going to go bury my head in a book for a while. Something I wasn’t able to do this weekend because we decided planting 13 trees was a good idea. It is gorgeous, but I’m so sore and tired. I’d hoped to get the trellises done, but that will have to wait for another day. Today, I’m going to find some fresh air that isn’t tainted by paint fumes.