Need Something Beautiful

I needed something beautiful after the absolute roller coaster of emotional shit that today has been. I have felt pulled apart and stomped on, picked up and dusted off, rearranged and put back in a different order. In the end, some things have been said that needed said and new boundaries put in place. We will see if anything changes, but I’ve kind of given up any expectations of that. One more thing to let go and it is hanging by a spider’s thread.

Need This To Stop

Another piece of mail has upended me. Well, it wasn’t the piece of mail itself, but what it has led to. Another forced discussion of OC and where our boundaries lie. I could go on and on with the details, but they aren’t what really matter. In the end, we have gotten a definitive “I want nothing to do with you” from OC. Continue reading “Need This To Stop”

Pretty Little Lies… Ideals

Perfect. Unconditional. Selfless. Black and White/Right and Wrong.

I’m going to apologize upfront as this is going to be kind of long and rambling, but these are things that have, yet again, been running through my head on an infinity loop. Continue reading “Pretty Little Lies… Ideals”

Storm Front

Today is a tough day for me emotionally. Back when OC left, Hubby and I struggled a lot with what was okay to do for him if he needed it and what we just could no longer provide. There was no doubt in our minds that it wasn’t very likely that he would ever ask, but it was something we needed to be prepared for anyway. Continue reading “Storm Front”

Coping and Cleaning Out

The last couple of weekends have been really hard and really busy.  After OC decided to not be here anymore, Hubby and I needed to clean the toxic waste dump that was his room.  It smelled horrid as he never did laundry or cleaned up even slightly.  When I say didn’t do laundry, I mean he hadn’t done it since he got back from my parents the first of July.  Not once.  I’m sure there were even some things buried in his closet that had been there for much longer.  There was trash and junk and pretty much everything you could imagine shoved in every nook and cranny. Continue reading “Coping and Cleaning Out”

The Hits Keep Coming

Yesterday was an exercise in extremes around here with regards to the kids.  Hubby got this heart meltingly awesome text from MC basically saying what an awesome dad he is and that MC appreciates and loves him.  It was random and out of the blue.  It isn’t something that MC has ever done in the past and his displays of affection aren’t that common, as is typical for a 14 year old.  It made me cry at how utterly amazing this kid is and that he has this huge squishy heart. Continue reading “The Hits Keep Coming”

Reflections on Family and Relationships

The importance put on family is something I have spent a lot of time thinking on, not just lately, but for a very long time.  With some of the issues with OC and also with regards to my own parents, siblings and in-laws, it has been something that has kind of always sat in the back of my mind.  Why do we put different standards around family relationships versus all other relationships?  There are times where you are forced to put up with or tolerate behavior and treatment from family members that would never, ever be considered even remotely okay with any other person in your life.  Why does blood grant that privilege?  Recently, I’ve been forced to face this question head on and come up with some real answers for myself and my immediate family. Continue reading “Reflections on Family and Relationships”