“Little Woman” Mindset?

I’m making calls to get bids on my craft room. I’m talking to this one guy. He’s getting my info, you know, basic stuff like name address, phone. Then he asks me a question that just throws me for a loop.

In all my times of calling various different companies for various different jobs over my 20+ years of being a homeowner, I’ve NEVER had anyone ask me this question.

“Is there a Mr. Fox? I’m going to just put his name down, too.”

Um… what?!

Now, this could be an entirely innocent question of someone wanting to make sure they have the names of anyone they may talk to, but… that just felt like a “Little woman, the men need to talk” kind of a question.

It is going to be so interesting when he comes out to give me my bid and I’m the one he has to deal with. It’s going to be even more interesting to see how he reacts when he realizes this “little woman” knows how to handle power tools and really kinda knows what they hell they are talking about.

I’m trying really hard not to make assumptions here and am giving this guy the benefit of the doubt, but it isn’t looking good so far. That question just made me feel icky about this particular guy because WHY would you ever risk making that assumption/stereotype?

What if I had a wife? Or I was single? Or hell, maybe I just was a very feminine sounding dude? Or recently widowed? It’s kind of like asking a woman when the baby is due just because you see a rounded stomach (and yes, I actually had someone ask me this question when BG was like 10, and no, I NEVER wore that shirt in public again). It is SO not something you should ever do. If you want to ensure you have names for other people you may need to talk to, ask “Is there anyone else that will be involved with this project and can I get their names?”

Sadly, I do need to still get a bid from him because I’m struggling to find a contractor. Apparently either 1) all the companies in my city want to only work in the rich counties and while mine is far from a slum, it isn’t THE rich county or 2) everybody and their brother are remodeling right now and they aren’t taking on new jobs. #2 is partly a problem because I don’t want them to do the whole job, just the framing, electrical and the drywall finishing, which may not be enough to entice a company to take on my project.

This is so not an obstacle I thought I’d run into.