Popping Color

Popping Color

This is my only mum that is opening enough to show color yet, but it is just loaded. I’m still on edge hoping we don’t get an early freeze and I get plenty of time to enjoy these this year.

MC is breezing through his first semester at college. For some reason, his history class was a shorter one than a regular class and he is already taking his final for that one next week. It will leave the last half of his semester more open.

It shouldn’t surprise me that he is doing so well because he always has when it comes to school, but I guess I still expected it to be a bit more challenging for him than this has seemed. Maybe it is just these earlier, more basic classes and next semester will be different, but I’m really happy for him that it is going so well.

He has impressed his computer programing teacher enough to get recommended for a work study program even though he isn’t even finished with his first class. He, unfortunately, can’t take it as a paid position because of the rules around family income, but they are looking into the possibility he can still do it on a volunteer/unpaid basis.

I think it was either from the same teacher or a math teacher, but MC was told he should become a tutor, but he can’t do that one until he passes a class he is currently taking with a certain grade (that won’t be an issue at this point). Apparently, he is making a good impression on at least some of his teachers.

While he loves that these are going to be things he gets to do, he is also excited that he has the chance to put these, plus his work with the videos for the eSports teams, on his resume. With his complete lack of any kind of work experience going into college (long story about bad timing and circumstances), he has been worried that he isn’t going to have much of anything to put down when he needs it and this is a relief for him.

I’m just glad that he is finding his space and the things he enjoys. It is exciting to see him get involved and enjoying what he is doing. I was a little worried the first couple of weeks in that he was struggling, but seeing all this makes me feel so much better. I really love that his college choice seems to be the perfect fit for him.

Now, BG is a whole other ball of wax. She is too much like me in not knowing what direction she wants to go when she gets out of high school. MC always knew he wanted to go into programming, but BG is all over the place in interests, so she doesn’t even know where to begin in her college search. I have a feeling her ride is going to be a lot bumpier than MC’s has been, but she is going to have to start making some decisions soon.

Driving Force

When you live in an area like mine with lots of distance between school and home and the stores along with almost no public transport, getting your driver’s license is one of those major milestones for a teenager. Both MC and BG had circumstances that pushed back their ability to take their test on or near their 16th birthdays, but they did finally get them.

Yesterday afternoon, I had to watch as BG drove off on her own for the first time, driving herself to her first assistant class of the year. Even though it was well past when she should have been able to do this (by the end of last winter), I still wasn’t quite ready for it.

I’m relieved that I no longer have to sit for an hour or more in my car in the parking lot while she does her dance classes. At the same time, I’m really going to miss the time we spent together along the way. It is just one more step towards her being grown up and gone.

It has been hard enough with MC off to college, even though he comes home almost every weekend. He is finding his feet there and settling in more comfortably. He’s volunteered to do the intro videos for all the esports teams, something he really loves and is excited about. He even played in an intramural tournament for one of the games over the weekend.

With BG driving now, she isn’t all that far behind him in stretching her own wings of independence.

Even though this is something that does make me sad, I’m still really happy for her. I remember what it was like to finally get to that point and it is something that both Hubby and I have worked really hard to make sure she got there. I was adamant that our kids would be able to drive as soon as possible and we would do whatever needed to be done to make that happen.

A big part of that is because when I needed to learn, I didn’t have that support and teaching. At least, not from my parents.

For me to get my license, I had to have my boyfriend at the time and his best friend taking me out and teaching me. Having someone that wasn’t yet even 18 teaching someone to drive is not really a great idea, but it is all I had.

This is something that I still, to this day, don’t fully understand. My older brother was learning before he was 16 (something that wasn’t even entirely legal at the time) and my dad took time off work and my brother out of school (a huge thing as my parents NEVER took us out of school) on his 16th birthday to take the test. But me? I had to have that boyfriend take me to get my permit so I could even learn, but it was the only test I could take without a parent. The driving test piece I had to wait until one my parents could find a convenient time (pretty sure it was a day off they had already planned) and a day where I wouldn’t miss school.

Now that I’m on the other end of things, I still don’t understand the mindset. I get that my family has a couple of freighters worth of issues, but I have seen and heard similar things in others. Yes, money is always going to be a factor because driving isn’t cheap, but I’m talking outside of that.

Whether it is teaching them to drive, or hobbling them when it comes to going off to college or really anything where kids are learning to follow their path to their future and happiness, I will never understand parents that try to clip their kid’s wings rather than helping them to fly.

Do parents not get that once those kids finally do learn to fly, and there is no stopping it, that they may choose to never come back if the damage is bad enough?

I’ve now got one that isn’t quite gone, but has one foot out the door and the other is standing behind the first waiting for her turn. It makes me sad to see that we are here already, but I won’t do anything to stand in their way.

The Daisy’s In The Details

You can tell that MC is finally starting to settle in because the number of texts to one of us at home have dwindled. At least one of us still hears something every day, but they are much fewer than in the first couple of days he was there.

It helps tremendously that he finally got his door and shower fixed. Who would have thought that having hot water and being able to get into your room without help would make things comfortable for a first time college student?! That and having to attend classes kept him from going stir crazy in his quiet dorm.

He is coming home this weekend to do some laundry and hang out. I’m not sure how long he plans to stay, overnight or the whole weekend, but I’m glad he felt comfortable enough to ask. He is a stubborn shit sometimes and refused my offer earlier in the week when it looked like the shower situation wasn’t going to get resolved quickly. It did show how determined he was to make it all work no matter how out of sorts and uncomfortable he was.

It is such a huge relief to see him getting comfortable. Just in time for me to start stressing about how BG’s back to school start is going to look.

 

So Not Helping!

We all know that this whole going off to college thing for the first time is hard enough on a normal basis. For both the student and the parent. Throw a little pandemic into the mix and it is an ugly, stressful mix of WTF.

So why in the hell, with all of that going on would a school, or anyone at a school make that even harder?

I mentioned that MC had an issue with the scanner on his dorm door. This means that he cannot get in without someone letting him in. Over the weekend, it was an RA. Today, since classes have started, he needed campus security to do so.

And they didn’t.

Not right away. Why? Because they apparently couldn’t verify his identity. Even though he called them from his phone, which they have on file connected to his account. Even though he called on this issue several times on Friday when they were trying to sort it all out. Even though this has been ongoing and they supposedly have it on schedule to get the issue fixed today.

That lead to him being late for his first zoom meeting for one of his classes. Do you have any idea how much this stresses him out? He is that straight A, always on time, never missed a day of school kind of student and he is late to his first class because he couldn’t get into his damn room.

MC has already had a really rough weekend being his first there and with all of this stress hanging over his head, making him really not want to leave his dorm, even to go get something to eat, because he didn’t want to have to bother someone every time he needed to get back into his room.

Did I mention that he moved in mid-day on Friday? A work day for most people? But apparently, they didn’t deem the door issue something important enough to get someone out to fix it right away, during working hours. It got pushed off until today.

So, yeah, I’m a little pissed today.

I really don’t want to be forced to be that annoying parent, but I will if I have to. Especially considering we really didn’t choose for him to live on campus. It was required by the school and the conditions of his scholarship. A scholarship that does not pay for that room and board.

I’m so tempted to just tell him to come stay at home until they can get the damn door fixed. I honestly just might if it doesn’t get taken care of today.

Why in the world is this even an issue?!

I get it. Shit happens and you just have to deal with it sometimes, but damn! It kind of feels like it has been non-stop shit going on with him. Most of it has been little, but it all adds up and builds on top of an already stressful situation.

Just as an example of how horrible this is for him: My kid finally asked for something, which he absolutely refused to do before he left (and almost universally NEVER asks for anything. EVER.) I’m talking it was like pulling teeth to get him to take the little bit he took in the first place.

What does he ask for? A fan for his room because the silence is unbearable.

That was the moment when my waterworks wanted to break free. Not because my kid is off in college, but because he is miserable. And because I know that and he knows that and he didn’t ask to come home. He asked for a fan so he could stick it out.

Sadly, I know he is going to be just fine once things calm down and he gets into a routine. I was looking forward to today for him because of that. Hoping that him starting classes would begin to help him settle. But, no. He just has to have it be an even more difficult day than the ones before.

The start of his “college experience” has not made it something he will look back on fondly.