What’s Left At The End Of The Day

It is difficult not to be exceptionally angry today. I’m angry at the ignorance and the unwillingness of those that are supposed to be in charge to actually DO something productive.

Yes, I could be talking on the larger scale as that absolutely applies as well, but I’m talking a little lower down the power rung. Our idiotic governor, who just got reelected, much to my horror, just put out a decision stating that as long as masks are worn properly at the time of exposure, schools no longer need to issue quarantines for those that might have been exposed.

What the ever loving fuck?!

The same day, one major university announced they were going full virtual after Thanksgiving and a local high school was also having to go all virtual because of the number of cases. But the brain trust in charge of our entire state decided, against ALL CDC and health department recommendations, that quarantines are no longer needed.

This was immediately followed by our mayor stating that our city would not be following those guidelines. Sadly, BG’s school district isn’t inside the city limits and aren’t bound by city rules. They did put out a statement that they will be considering what this means for them and give more information later.

It is hard enough to send her to the school to take her proctored exams as it is. Knowing she will be going if the school follows our governor’s guidelines pisses me off. I have her doing online for a reason.

This also makes it significantly more concerning to send her to dance because there are SO many school districts represented at the studio and I have no way of knowing which schools will be following those guidelines and which ones won’t.

I am sick to death of people that don’t know squat thinking they know more than the experts and putting so many people at risk. I simply do not understand whatever twisted rationale they used to make such a stupid, risky decision.  Schools are already having a hard enough time with outbreaks, but this dipshit thinks this is a good idea and that things will be better?

Oh, and this is the same dipshit that cut funding for schools in the spring.

The only mitigating factor in this at all is that, so far, our district has followed city guidelines for the most part. It is still going to impact so many other areas of my state, though. So many people are going to die because there is an idiot at the helm who refuses to listen to the real doctors with real experience and the CDC and the health departments. You know, the ones who’s jobs it is to know this stuff.

Rainbowed Sunset Behind A Tree

I finally got my test results back yesterday afternoon. It took longer than the 24 hours I was originally told, but I got the expected negative so I’m good to go to take the meds I need to kick this bronchitis in the butt.

Even better, I noticed that the amazing, saintly doctor I spoke to not only gave me a generous size bottle of the desperately needed cough medicine, but he gave me 2 refills on it as well! Every past doctor I’ve seen with the exception of the one while I was pregnant with BG that took pity on me and gave me enough to last about 2 years has treated that stuff like it was liquid gold.

I do get why, but it just makes it that much harder to get enough to get this under control normally, which means I have to go in multiple times every year. I really wasn’t looking forward to that this year so I did a little happy dance when I saw the number marked in the refills box on the label.

Fingers and toes crossed that all of this is enough to knock this out early this year.

Craft Room Project: HVAC & Wall Drawings

Today was a rather productive day. And kind of exciting as well.

I now have the HVAC installed in the new space! Damn, but that was LOUD! I’m so glad that neither Hubby nor BG had meetings going on at the time because it really wouldn’t have been possible.

I also completed the bulk of my drawing on the walls fun. It is really rough, but mostly accurate. I ran into a couple of issues that I had to correct, which was the whole point of the exercise, to make sure my designs would work and to help me with the final layout of outlets and lighting.

Back Wall Layout
Back Wall Layout
Workbench Wall
Workbench Wall

Above are the designs for my back wall and my workbench wall (where most of the cabinet work is going). Below is the design drawn in place on the walls. As you can see, it is really messy, but it does allow me to see that my design is going to work as I’ve laid it out.

Cabinet Design Drawn Out On Walls
Cabinet Design Drawn Out On Walls

I also had to do some very basic outlining on the floor, though it is almost impossible to see in the photo. This is because I don’t have a wall to draw on there. This was mostly so I could mark placement for the outlets on this wall. Or at least have reference points to where they will eventually go (on the left side of the below photo).

Portion Of Back Wall And Floor
Portion Of Back Wall And Floor

This is the layout for the currently non-existant wall. This is the partial wall that will remain open to the rest of the basement.

Left Work Table Wall
Left Work Table Wall

The flat designs aren’t great to be able to tell exactly what I have going on, but it does give an idea.

Being able to walk down the stairs and see this as a mostly life size design I can walk through is amazing. I’m thrilled that the HVAC pieces are done. Now it is down to waiting on my contractor. The only thing I have left to do before they start is to finalize my lighting and possibly get them purchased. The rest of my part now has to wait until I have electrical and walls in place.

Tiny Rainbows In Fall Leaves

Covid test is done. I’d rather not have to do a repeat, but it wasn’t horrible. It wasn’t awesome, but it wasn’t horrible. Now I have to wait 24 hours for results.

I’d hoped to start the cough medicine and the antibiotics today and wait until I got my results tomorrow before starting the steroid, but when Hubby went to pick up my prescriptions, they were out of the cough meds (one of the most important pieces to getting this under control) and wouldn’t get more in until later today.

So, I’m still in wait mode and probably won’t be seeing any kind of relief for at least another day or two. Blech!

And my nose is still tingling and I feel like I need to sneeze, but can’t.

Can I just take a nap?

Covid-19 Test And Bronchitis

My annual bronchitis has settled in nice and hard.

Joy.

It is bad enough that I caved and called the doctor this morning. The amazing, incredible, awesome, goddess of a woman that took my call and initially told me that the first opening wasn’t until Thursday, heard me coughing and decided that simply wasn’t good enough. She went and spoke with the staff and managed to squeeze me in for a video appointment this afternoon.

After absolute shit timing of my internet deciding to die and a rushed and panicked call into the office, I was able to do my appointment via phone.

It was honestly the best appointment I’ve ever had when it came to dealing with this yearly, all winter long nightmare. We discussed what worked in the past and some new suggestions and settled on my normal meds (thank goodness!) that tend to work best.

The only problem? The steroids I normally take and that work well are being very cautiously prescribed because it can impact your immunity. With a pandemic going on, that really isn’t a good thing.

I now have to go in for a covid test to ensure I don’t actually have that instead of my bronchitis before I can start on my meds. That could have been another epic wait, but again, the staff doing the scheduling saved my butt when a spot opened up, while still on the call, for tomorrow morning, though it isn’t at a close location.

Apparently, accessing tests in my area right now isn’t all that easy because of the growing number of cases. It really is kind of terrifying.

I’m almost 100% sure this is just my usual winter crud. Everything I’ve got going on is classic for that crud, but it is still a possibility that I’m wrong. I found out that the timing on our HVAC guy’s test was probably a lot closer than I originally thought (though still a slim chance) and BG is always going to be pretty much THE potential to bring it home. So, while I am pretty sure, that little bit of chance doesn’t make me feel all warm and fuzzy. Definitely not feeling the warm fuzzies of a potentially suppressed immune system while on these meds.

So, now I have to go get a brain poke while trying not to cough up a lung, at a place that does covid testing. You know, where people quite possibly have covid. All so I can, maybe, take the meds I need to stop coughing.

Wear your masks people!!

Don’t Ask That

A woman, married for years to an emotionally and physically abusive husband is beaten nearly to death by that husband. The only thing that stops him from going too far this time is that he slips in her blood and falls while trying to kick her in the head. His fall throws him back and he bashes his head on the way down. The head injury is life threatening. The abused woman is battered and broken, but will survive.

Question.

Does she owe her abuser any kind of compassion, understanding or forgiveness now that he is also suffering and my not live? If he survives, does she owe him any effort to wish him well with compassionate understanding of the suffering he experienced because of the fall? What about when he continues to insist she was to blame or refuses to admit to any wrong doing or that his actions caused harm?

In the above fictional scenario, the majority of people would agree that the obvious answer to that would be no (or I would desperately hope the majority would, but I’m no longer surprised when I’m wrong in that hope), she has no obligation to her abuser.

Sadly, this is exactly what I keep seeing people out there asking others to do right now.

I’ve seen lots of posts in the last few days about working with the other side and trying to see things from their perspective. At first, I struggled to articulate why this stance bothered me so much until it dawned on me that it is essentially asking those that have felt the most harmed and abused by the last 4 years (and honestly a lot longer because this didn’t spring up out of thin air) to just overlook all that harm and abuse when those doing the harm and abuse are still refusing to admit to the damage they’ve done. That once again, the abused are the ones being asked to give in and compromise and do all the work in a one-sided abusive relationship, to show compassion and forgiveness and understanding to those that have not once shown the same to them.

They are being asked to overlook and excuse years of discrimination, racism, hate, violence, neglect, lies, and corruption. To accept and compromise with people that want to take away their rights or even their lives, people who view them as not worthy of being treated as an equal human being, when making any kind of compromise only gives them the power to do more harm.

To expect that is to normalize and excuse the abuse. To deny that it never happened. It puts the blame and the responsibility to repair the problems on the shoulders of the abused. Sadly, this is how abusive relationships are often viewed and treated. That the abused should “be the better person”. No. They have ALWAYS been the better person and they do not have to keep carrying that burden for others.

Anyone that has ever lived in an abusive relationship see’s how wrong that is. How unhealthy and damaging. When one side of a relationship is the only one to ever give or compromise, you eventually lose everything you are if you don’t leave that relationship.

To ask for compassion, understanding and forgiveness for those that lost and to say that the way forward is to find compromise is asking the abused to wipe the slate clean of the abuser and to give up more of themselves in the process. Especially when the other side has spent years burying themselves so deeply in their stubborn cement it would take a wrecking ball attached to an atomic bomb to get them to move even an inch all while denying that they are doing so and pointing the finger and screaming at the abused for not compromising enough.

Compromise is essential to any healthy relationship, but it must be a balanced compromise. This country has been way out of balance for a long time and we aren’t going to be healthy until that balance is allowed to shift.

When you ask the abused to give more than they have, something breaks. This vote is a Band-Aid placed in an attempt to heal what is breaking, but it won’t fix it if the people doing the abuse don’t start admitting their part in the damage and working to help the rest of us fix it.

I have to wonder if those that are asking for people to “see things from the other perspective” if they have done so themselves. If in asking for everyone to show compassion and understanding know what they are actually asking and how much a part of the problem they are.

And Done!

I’ve done my part. It was shockingly quick. Probably the fastest I’ve ever experienced. I was really surprised as I was prepared for something entirely different even though we’ve never really had any kinds of lines to speak of at our polling location.

I’m just glad it’s done. Now to attempt to ignore the chaos for most of the day or my stomach is going to eat itself from stress.

Golden Orange

My next stage in the craft room project is to get that space cleared out completely so it is ready to go for when the contractor starts.

This is one of those easier said than done projects because that means I have to find space to put everything. Space that still allows for the contractor to work, doesn’t block any access to our storage (I have to do all my holiday decorating around the time this is getting started, SO fun! Not) and, as I’ve been so clearly informed, I don’t block BG’s practice floor. A floor that takes up a considerable amount of space. Space I’m not allowed to use.

I have so far figured out where to put the majority of the larger pieces and have gotten them moved. All I have left is to empty out the two cabinets I have and get those moved. I’m not looking forward to those as they are both crammed full and are heavy and awkward to try and move.

Once I have all of that out of the space, I’m going to start drawing on the walls.

Okay, that isn’t going to be as fun as it sounds as I’m just going to try and draw the basic layout I have planned for my cabinets on the two existing walls so I can mark where I need my outlets and to make sure my layout is going to work the way I’ve gotten it drawn.

I’m hoping that exercise will also help me to plan out the finer details I need to work on the interior designs of those cabinets.

Just to give  you an idea of what I’m working with here, these are my before pictures.

Craft Room: Before #2
Craft Room: Before #2
Craft Room: Before #1
Craft Room: Before #1

The storage area stuff isn’t going to be dealt with until I’m pulling out the holiday decorations. Then I have to make sure that everything that is there is still under the stairs section so it can get enclosed. Every single thing else has to come out and I’m down to just the white and gray cabinets. And waiting for the contractor to start around Thanksgiving.

Baby steps of progress.

School Heading Into Fall And Winter

Up until recently, I’ve been mostly happy with the school situation with both BG doing her junior year remotely and MC being nearly all remote for his freshman year of college, but still being required to be in his dorm.

Ideally, I’d still prefer MC do be able to do his part from home, but I’ve been really pleased with how his school has handled things. So far, there have not been any cases on campus, which is kind of shocking. They are being told that they are not required to come back to campus after their Thanksgiving break because of concerns of students getting together with families over the holidays.

I think there are plans to go full virtual after the new year, but I don’t think they’ve confirmed those plans yet or how that will impact those students like MC that have the campus requirement for their scholarships.

With BG, I’ve been more than thrilled with her being virtual. She mostly prefers it that way, but has run into a few bumps and frustrations, mostly with a less than organized teacher that has extremely poor communication skills and never answers emails. There is most likely going to be the option to choose virtual again for next semester and she will absolutely be taking that option when it finally comes up.

The problem I am having is that she is still required to go to the school for some of her tests since they are for her AP classes and have to be monitored. This wouldn’t bother me nearly so much if I weren’t now getting a daily email of yet another positive test case at the school and I wasn’t also aware that it is absolutely possible to proctor an exam virtually as MC has done that for all of his online only courses.

We had reasons to choose the online only option. We made that decision after carefully considering all the different pieces and risk factors involved and determined it would be better for all of us if BG did the online only option. Yes, she has a risk through dance, but those factors were less of a risk than the school (fewer contact points, less time, better environmental factors) and some social interaction is important.

I strongly dislike the fact that she is still required to increase her exposure risk by going into the school building and sitting in a classroom with other students and a teacher going between two different classrooms of different students in the process when there are other options. I am even more upset now that there are beginning to be so many cases in our district, yet they are still requiring this in person testing.

It is already becoming a problem as some students that were in person and may have been in contact with a positive test case are forced to quarantine and cannot be in the school at all until they are out of quarantine, so they can’t take those tests until later, which kind of goes against some of the protections and reasons they require these tests be proctored.

I get it. This is unprecedented and these teachers and administrators are treading brand new ground and don’t have any kind of playbook to follow. I do think that some of these teachers have done a stellar job, going above and beyond to educate these kids (BG has a couple that she absolutely adores and so does MC). I do understand that we are probably more fortunate than a lot of others as I’ve seen some really awful stories about other people’s experiences. At the same time, sometimes I really wonder if some are ever actually thinking or if they just truly don’t have a clue.

Sadly, I think we are at a point here, or at least very close to it, where more and more students are going to be forced to go online (possibly even completely), so it is only going to get worse and I don’t know that our district or teachers are actually prepared for that.