“Little Woman” Mindset?

I’m making calls to get bids on my craft room. I’m talking to this one guy. He’s getting my info, you know, basic stuff like name address, phone. Then he asks me a question that just throws me for a loop.

In all my times of calling various different companies for various different jobs over my 20+ years of being a homeowner, I’ve NEVER had anyone ask me this question.

“Is there a Mr. Fox? I’m going to just put his name down, too.”

Um… what?!

Now, this could be an entirely innocent question of someone wanting to make sure they have the names of anyone they may talk to, but… that just felt like a “Little woman, the men need to talk” kind of a question.

It is going to be so interesting when he comes out to give me my bid and I’m the one he has to deal with. It’s going to be even more interesting to see how he reacts when he realizes this “little woman” knows how to handle power tools and really kinda knows what they hell they are talking about.

I’m trying really hard not to make assumptions here and am giving this guy the benefit of the doubt, but it isn’t looking good so far. That question just made me feel icky about this particular guy because WHY would you ever risk making that assumption/stereotype?

What if I had a wife? Or I was single? Or hell, maybe I just was a very feminine sounding dude? Or recently widowed? It’s kind of like asking a woman when the baby is due just because you see a rounded stomach (and yes, I actually had someone ask me this question when BG was like 10, and no, I NEVER wore that shirt in public again). It is SO not something you should ever do. If you want to ensure you have names for other people you may need to talk to, ask “Is there anyone else that will be involved with this project and can I get their names?”

Sadly, I do need to still get a bid from him because I’m struggling to find a contractor. Apparently either 1) all the companies in my city want to only work in the rich counties and while mine is far from a slum, it isn’t THE rich county or 2) everybody and their brother are remodeling right now and they aren’t taking on new jobs. #2 is partly a problem because I don’t want them to do the whole job, just the framing, electrical and the drywall finishing, which may not be enough to entice a company to take on my project.

This is so not an obstacle I thought I’d run into.

Author: TJ Fox

I am a slightly sane artist, amateur photographer, book addict, wife, mom and raging introvert. I have more hobbies than I can count, so it is beyond shocking that I manage to find time to do any of them, let alone most of them and still have time to do anything else. Of all the talents I claim, writing wasn’t one of them until my muse dropped the idea for a book on my head.

15 thoughts on ““Little Woman” Mindset?”

      1. I just read a memoir about a woman who renovates a house. She talks a little bit about how you need to figure out the relationship with the contractor because even though it’s usually the woman handling the Reno, the contractors often just want to speak to the guy

        Liked by 1 person

      2. We’ve done a lot of projects on this house over the years with different companies and I really haven’t dealt with that attitude. It’s probably because my hubby was rarely at home while I was doing it so that wasn’t even an option. It’s still mind blowing, though.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I cannot stand this attitude. I’ve dealt with it in the past and yes, often when it comes to cars (usually mechanics). I sort of expected to deal with some of this kind of thing on the project, but not this kind of in your face directness.

      On a positive note, one other company I’ve been dealing with, I’ve been talking to a woman who is also a crafter so discussing what I want and need has been a breeze. So far, I LOVE them. Sadly, they are WAY out on their time frame (not even able to start until January).

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s unfortunate that the ideal seems to be too far away. Perhaps the second company is really worth the wait if it means not having to deal with Mr. Mans-plainer and his attitude!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. If he is as bad as I think, I’ll definitely wait for the other one if the price is reasonable. I have two other companies I’m getting bids from, too, so I really doubt I’ll be forced to do business with this guy.

        Liked by 2 people

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