Titanium Will

I’m kind of an emotional basket case today.

My daughter has a will and a spine of pure titanium. I cannot express strongly enough how amazed and proud I am of her.

Over a period of 12 hours. Through 5 shows and 75 total performances, 17 of which were hers. She was the ONLY ONE to wear a mask on stage to dance. The only exception to this were the handful of assistants that had to be on stage with the younger girls and were required to wear one.

The. Only. One.

Every single time she stepped on stage with her class and she was the only one wearing a mask, I got so choked up and struggled not to cry. For so many reasons.

I’m proud of her for standing her ground and doing what she felt was right. We allowed her to make this choice since masks weren’t required on stage. She chose to wear her mask. Even though no one else did. She made this choice over and over again. Even though it acted kind of like a spotlight on her and she hates to be the focus of attention like that.

I’m so sad that she was put in the position to stand alone in this. I’m sad that I didn’t get to see all her amazing expressions on her face while she danced. Her beautiful smile and her “Oh, crap!” moments when she made a mistake. It is always one of my favorite things about recital, but I don’t get it this year and I’m so okay with that, no matter how much I miss it.

I can’t even begin to express my frustration with all the surrounding stuff that I saw yesterday. The lack of concern or adherence to rules put in place for safety. And there was so much of it.

I still can’t say that any of this was worth it even though I loved that she got to dance. I have another day to go where I get to watch and feel this dichotomy of emotions. Happy and frustrated and sad and worried. And proud. So damn proud.

I am blown away by my daughter and her dedication and willingness to stick with what she feels is the right thing no matter if she is standing alone in that conviction.