Holiday Perspective

View Of Christmas Tree From Below

Is it just me or do other people’s view and attitude about the holidays change depending on those they are around? Specifically family.

Sorry if the following does not match the cheeriness of the photo.

When it is just Hubby, the kids, and me, I’m generally excited about the holidays and the traditions we have established over the years. I look forward to all those moments I know we all love.

Throw in pretty much any other person and all of that gets tainted and I start to lose some of that joy. People that cannot manage to do anything but bring negativity with them. I do my damnedest to choose beauty and joy every day because there is so much that isn’t, but it is hard to do that when all that negativity jumps in your face.

It is worse when those people bring hope of change and a promise of healing, all out of the blue, only to have all that hope get smacked back down under the weight of the reality that things are still exactly as they were before you chose to walk away.

I’ve seen others talk about how much they dread doing some family event because of how negative it can be. How do you maintain the joy around the holidays when you are forced to deal with people that feel the need to drag everyone down?

Author: TJ Fox

I am a slightly sane artist, amateur photographer, book addict, wife, mom and raging introvert. I have more hobbies than I can count, so it is beyond shocking that I manage to find time to do any of them, let alone most of them and still have time to do anything else. Of all the talents I claim, writing wasn’t one of them until my muse dropped the idea for a book on my head.

7 thoughts on “Holiday Perspective”

  1. I’ve often wondered, since this sort of thing has occurred routinely in my life, that if I simply set my expectations really low to begin with, sort of going in expecting everything to be awful during the time I’m stuck with these people, that afterwards I may actually be able to pull out one or two moments that were okay.
    I was just confronted again with that whole idea of walking back in, then quickly realizing that I should have stayed away. I’m learning to trust my gut more and more. Not how I pictured my ideal family scenario, but at least I remain relatively sane.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is the sanity and saving my mental health that prompted me to walk in the first place. Being prepared for the worst works well for me in certain situations and that is exactly how I handle them. It is the unexpected pop up from those I’ve distanced myself from that always trip me up. It always happens around holidays, probably because family obligations forced them to remember my existence and they felt the need for the obligatory guilt contact.

      I will never, ever understand why families can be some of the most emotionally damaging. Or why they don’t see that they are the cause of that damage.

      Like

  2. I try to avoid the people that drag me down. If I must see them, I try to be cheery, and then vent when I get home. Light fun books also get me through. Or a good Murder mystery I can live through vicariously

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m learning that just because you walk away and cut people out of your life doesn’t mean they are actually gone (and is a big part of my problem at the moment). I’ve been working on the lighthearted books lately, but I may need to explore the murder mystery as an alternative. I like how you think!

      Liked by 2 people

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