Responsibility And Consequences

Who bears actual responsibility and who should suffer the consequences of certain actions? In this situation, I’m talking about kids in general, but more specifically, teenagers. There are so many scenarios and times when a kid does something that the fingers start pointing everywhere. The parents. The schools. Video games. Music. Other kids. Pretty much anything and everything that can be pointed to other than just the kid.

No, this is not a simple, cut and dried concept. There are times when it is more than just the kid that is responsible, but so many times I see the finger pointing and the blame come out instinctually without anyone ever looking that the circumstances of the situation and putting that responsibility where it legitimately belongs. I’ve seen it first hand throughout my kids’ school years, both the blame and the praise.

Sadly, that finger pointing can lead to even bigger problems and consequences. I’ve been watching this unfold in our school over the last week. An incident involving some pretty ugly, awful words being shared around the school by a couple of kids has ended up in the news. The district has always been upfront, notifying parents about any incidents immediately, then following up later with more information if investigation was needed. This incident was no exception. They’ve investigated and issued punishments to the students involved, but the fingers have come out.

I read an opinion article in a local paper that points those fingers at administration and saying they didn’t do enough and that they should issue an apology and included some misrepresented facts and details about the situation which painted the entire school, including the student body, in a nasty light.

My kids are now concerned for their friends that play sports. Those kids are talking about being worried about the upcoming football game and how the other team is going to treat them. They are worried that the other team will view them as tainted by this situation and target them even though they had nothing to do with it and those words do not reflect who they are. All because the district is being called out for those students’ words and actions.

As volatile as things seem to be in this country, I don’t blame them for their concern. Those innocent kids are paying the price in stress and worry, and potentially their own safety. Not just for the actions of a couple of truly ignorant kids, but because people are dumping the responsibility for those kids’ horrific behavior on the district as a whole and the administration.

Is it fair to place blame on the administration and the district? I honestly don’t know. I only know bits of this from what I’ve gotten from the notices and the things the kids have told me. It seems they reacted immediately to shut the incident down and are taking some pretty extreme measures and actions with this. They have fully communicated the entire situation with parents and students along the way. This is apparently not enough for some. Is it their responsibility to apologize for the actions of a couple of kids intent on spreading some vile things? I really don’t know if that falls on their shoulders.

I do wonder how pointing the finger at the district instead of the kids that are at the heart of this does anything to make this situation better in any way. I can see that the finger pointing and blame is filtering down in a way it never should.