My Writing · Parenting · Photography

Pretty and Painful

Life has felt kind of like I’ve been tossed into a food processor on high lately. That isn’t even a really accurate analogy as it does not encompass all the extreme highs and lightning fast changes that bring crazy, insane lows. Sometimes over days. Sometimes it changes in as little as an hour or two. As soon as I’m experiencing one, for any number of reasons, something will come along and yank me to the other extreme. It is maddening.

Some of this is book release related. Like getting all excited when I see a sale and think my ad campaign is already paying off, only to realize, no, that was a paperback sale. It doesn’t show as a sale until it ships. It could have been ordered a few days ago, before the campaign started. Then I’m all, but I still don’t know who bought it, so… I have an unknown that just purchased! Whoo hoo! Uh… nope again. Hubby talks to his dad only to find out it was his aunt. Okay. Still a sale, so that is great, but… not quite so awesome as a stranger sale. *sigh*

There have been a lot of other things that have yanked me around as well. The creative highs and lows over the last few weeks have left me drained, but I cannot get my damn muse to leave me alone and give me a break. I have several ideas I want to work on (mostly house related), but I just can’t right now.

I had some lovely family moments that made my heart feel all full and squishy. Often followed up with something that cuts and bruises that same squishy heart. Some that have just reconfirmed that all the bullshit and stress is why I’m where I’m at and I still wouldn’t change any of the decisions I’ve made over the last several years and there are just some people that need to fuck right off and go away.

It has been capped when MC got back his ACT scores. My boy is amazing and he frickin’ killed it, hitting his goal of beating his dad’s scores. Then he nailed a perfect on the English, which shocked the hell out of him as math and science are his stronger points. He has guaranteed himself at least some scholarship money at the two schools he is interested in, and opened the door for more. I am one proud mama. Maybe a little crazy, but still proud.

I am beyond ready to see things level out for a change because this back and forth crap has got to stop. I’ll take the highs any day, but the drops are killer and leave me cranky as hell and irritated at the stupidest things, reminding me yet again why I walked away from so much online stuff years ago. Life is too short to walk around pissed at the world over the stupid shit other people do.

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