I am supposed to be working on my last big round of edits. I’ve managed to get the first half done and was just starting on the second half on Friday when I got a rather distressing text from BG saying that she needs to talk to me about something really important, that she is probably going to be in trouble and I’m most likely going to get a call from the school. This from the girl that is obsessiveness about following rules and doing the right thing. Both her and MC are straight A students and just NEVER get into any trouble. The most I’ve had to do is yell at them for pestering each other. To say I was stunned is a massive understatement.
Needless to say, my ability to focus on anything was utterly shot. Since it was Friday, I knew I wouldn’t get anything done over the weekend, so I was frustrated with the lack of progress, but I just couldn’t focus. It took having her get home after a rather shocking phone call with the school about the incident and really talking about what happened before my mind would settle.
Without going into specifics, she didn’t actually get into trouble. Either at school or at home. Yes, she made a rather poor decision that she didn’t fully think out and something that was so incredibly out of character for her. The only reason the school was involved at all since this happened in the evening at home was that it used the school provided devices to facilitate a video chat. I will say it involved the ex. It could have been worlds worse. She now has a real taste of how horrible men and boys can be and that you have to be so extremely careful in placing your trust (which is one of the reasons I’m so floored by this after everything else that happened with the guy). She also now understands what it feels like to be violated, even on a very minor level, to be pressured to do something you don’t want or feel comfortable doing, then to have that fragile trust decimated by the other person’s actions. It is something I hoped she would never experience and, on some level, I feel like I’ve failed as a parent in not teaching her better, but I know this isn’t on me.
We had a really good, long talk. I have always been hesitant to give her my specific history, but did allude to it without just saying exactly what happened. After this, I told her straight up what I experienced. I made my daughter cry, but I hope more than anything that in sharing that piece of myself, that pain, that she understands a bit more. It was a hard conversation to have, for both of us. It makes it harder because I was her age when it happened.
We literally spent the entire time from when she got home until just before bed talking. Not just about this, but about everything. MC participated because she told him the second they got on the bus. They are that close that she didn’t hesitate to tell her brother and I love that she knows she has him to support her and that is exactly what he has done through this whole thing. In all, we talked for nearly 4 hours. I will say that it was so hard to find that balance between showing her that her choice was really poor and victim blaming/shaming. I’ve been there myself, so it was the absolute last thing I wanted her to feel.
This event was part of my motivation for our hike over the weekend. Yes, the weather was stunningly perfect, but it was still cold and I’m still lazy enough to want to stay inside where it is warm. What I wanted, needed, more was to spend some time with my Baby Girl so that she would understand that no matter what, I still loved her.
My heart has broken over this and I was so, so, SO tempted to involve the police (because I absolutely could have). I didn’t for the sheer fact that this, in the end, was still on the minor end of the scale and would have made things so much worse for BG. I will not hesitate if the little turd tries to harrass her at school, though (and I have every reason to believe he will after his random, crazy coincidental run in with BG’s friend over the weekend and his own behavior at school on Friday after this all went down). Because school policy is biased towards student privacy, I have no clue what, if any, punishment the kid will have. I do understand that their hands are tied because this didn’t happen at school, just on the technology. Doesn’t mean I like not knowing if he got away with this or not.
Because I know that BG will be back at school for the first time since this all happened and was required to report to the assistant principal at the start of the day, my brain still is refusing to settle down and concentrate on what I should be doing today. Part of it is my normal procrastination and feeling lazy, but I just can’t look at the words I need to be looking at and do any good. Sadly, I don’t know how much I’ll get done at all this week with the Teen Drama and my birthday this week. I’m in slug mode. The weather kept me from doing any shopping this weekend so I won’t even be working on the cake I wanted to make. Maybe later.
If BG gets home and there was little drama, that will ease some of my worry. School is the only place the kid can contact her as we blocked him from every single avenue we had control over. No calls, texts or social media contact. That made the weekend nice and quiet for her, but I worry about school. Maybe the Universe will grant me a birthday present and give this boy a clue. Then I can focus enough to finish editing this damn book!