Resetting My Rhythm

Petunias

My kids are back to school and have been now for several days. They are both in high school now, which has changed my school routines a bit as Hubby is now taking them both instead of him taking MC and me taking BG since they were in different schools.

That means I don’t have to be up and dressed and out of the house early to get BG to school. That in turn means I don’t have those morning drives to inspire me to get my camera out. Getting out on my own to take pictures just doesn’t sound appealing. That doesn’t mean I won’t at all, but it just wouldn’t be the same. I won’t get those burst of insight seeing how BG sees the world when she points out what she thinks would make a great photo. I feel like I’ve lost out on something, not getting that morning time with BG anymore.

I could, if I really wanted to, stay in bed, but I want to see them off and tell them to have a good day as they leave. It is important to me to have that connection with them to start every day. I also don’t want to sleep half the day away only to stay up so late that Hubby has been sleeping for hours before I even head to bed.

I have felt a little off and antsy since they started back. I have a need to DO something, but I don’t know what. I decided I wanted a cozy chair in my new office space to give me a spot to sit and read by the front windows or to have a place to sit and talk to Hubby when he needs to use the office (I have a dual monitor set up that he needs when he works from home) so I did some more minor rearranging. It works, but I don’t know that this exact set up will be permanent because I don’t like the space that was left where the chair used to be.

I love the space in the office, though. It was cool and rainy the day I moved it, so I just sat there and read in front of the cracked open window, watching and listening to the rain. It was peaceful, but it didn’t settle the restlessness and my need to move and do. I need to find something that sets up a new routine, a new rhythm for me. I just don’t know what that is even though I have a growing to do list.

I considered going for a daily walk again to get out into the fresh air and get some more exercise. Then, sitting in my new spot with a view to the front of the house, I got to see just how many people in this neighborhood are home during the day doing the exact same thing. For a socially awkward introvert that abhors the idea of exercising and working out where others can see, that killed that idea. I guess all the new houses not only killed our view and our privacy, it has also killed the lack of people out and about during the day. Guess I’m going to stick to doing laps around the house while reading.

Part of my antsy feeling is focused on wanting to create. I think my new office and craft spaces have really stirred me up. I don’t think it even really matters what I create, I just want to create something. I do have a jewelry project I want to work on at some point, but I still don’t know what it is yet. I know the stone I’ll be using, but not much beyond that. The idea is still just tickling the edges at the moment, so I know it isn’t ready to come out and play.

I’m trying like hell to not let my brain take me down a new creative path. The absolute last thing I need right now is to find yet another creative hobby. Hubby might just revolt as none of them are ever inexpensive.

I need to find something, though, be it creative or exercise or… just something other than what I’m doing now or I just might go stir crazy.

Author: TJ Fox

Slightly sane artist, book addict, wife and mom who is forever rethinking her place in this world.

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