So, I started my research for an editor and a cover designer. Then I just kind of hit this wall. The sheer volume of different types of editors and pricing and the lists of different steps you need to take with each different one and just… everything. It sent me into kind of a tailspin. It was so overwhelming I just had to step away.
It is kind of stupid, I know. I also know that on some level this is part of my usual negative self talk and that nasty inner voice’s way of saying that this isn’t going to work out. I’m trying to ignore it, but that is always so much easier said than done.
One of the problems I’m running into is that, even though I think I have at least one editor I want to contact, I honestly don’t know what to say. They want a description of the project. I had one hell of a time even writing the blurb, I have no clue how to actually talk about the book. Part of that is I have this idea of how the book needs to come across to a reader and I don’t know how to talk about it without saying too much about the events that the emotional tone gets lost. I really want feedback from pretty much a blank slate perspective and I don’t know how to go about getting that.
The issue I have with the book cover designer is that I have a very specific idea of what I want in my head. I actually have two different ideas, one I like way better than the other. The problem is that I do NOT want any images used on my cover to be some random stock image that can appear on any other cover. Ideally, I really want that image to be one of mine. I consider myself an artist for crying out loud, but I don’t know how to do a damn cover. I want it to be clean and professional, but I don’t have enough confidence to be able to do that myself so I need someone to do that for me and I kind of hate that.
The biggest issue I’m having is grappling with how much to pay for either one of those. If I fully intended on this launching a long term writing career that would encompass multiple books, I don’t think it would matter. I would want this to be the absolute best it could be and I’d pay what I needed to to get it there to establish a solid, positive reputation. Since, in all reality, I will only ever have this ONE book, I can’t seem to justify spending a fortune on editing and cover design.
So now I’m floundering. We have a major home improvement (replacing EVERY window in the house) that will be starting in the next month. It feels stupidly selfish to spend yet another fortune on yet another hobby project that has a very real potential to not give me any real return on investment. But… this is kind of huge for me and I need to give it every possible chance I can. I’m just struggling hard core with finding a comfortable middle ground.