Prickly

To say I’m feeling prickly today would be… not even close to accurate.

I haven’t been in the best of moods lately. I hadn’t been able to really pinpoint why or what triggered it outside of my normal “it’s getting cold and overcast and I don’t want to do anything” mode. Hubby and I talked a little last night and I felt so much better.

Today is one of those little anniversaries for us that most people don’t even remember the date let alone celebrate or acknowledge, but Hubby is just one of those guys that never forgets a date and always does something. I started in a really good mood, excited for the day and feeling overall more positive than I had in over a week.

It all came crashing down with a text from one of the family members that I cut off informing me of an event. It was really kind of passive aggressive and made me seriously angry on so many levels. First, the event was about another family member, one that Hubby had given every opportunity to stay in contact with, yet they hadn’t bothered to inform us of this event, so yet again, we are not important enough for just the minute or two it would have taken to send that text.

Why? No, really, why? Why are you even bothering? I haven’t spoken to anyone in over a year. I didn’t respond the last passive aggressive attempt to get me to talk to anyone. I told them I had no interest in talking to anyone when I walked away. Not a single one of them ever gave a shit if me, Hubby, MC or BG was around unless it meant they would get something from us, so why do you suddenly want to pretend we matter? Because this event might get you something? Screw you.

I matter. What I want and need matters. What is important to me matters. My KIDS matter and I have 3, by the way, not just the one that also cannot think beyond his own nose. I was done over a year ago with letting them make me feel like I didn’t matter. Quit coming along and cutting me open, again and again, when I least expect it and ALWAYS on days that are important to me.

For once in my life, I really wish these assholes that are supposed to be family would actually think about someone besides themselves for a change and just do what I’ve asked. Leave me the hell alone.