Oh, The Drama!

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I am both laughing and worried this morning. BG, at 13, has a boy that MIGHT ask her out. So. Much. DRAMA!

This is really her first and the whole “going out” thing is always kind of funny to me at this age. The problem is that she is pretty high strung anyway and instead of getting butterflies, her stomach is a roiling mass of molten lava. So much so, she not only didn’t eat breakfast, but she threw up. I honestly thought I’d have to turn around and bring her back home when I took her to school this morning. It would be funny if it didn’t make her physically sick.

She has always been really intense about certain things, but the whole getting sick thing is a first. She also isn’t the kind that you can distract or refocus to relieve the stress, she just has to get through whatever it is that is stressing her and she is fine. As a parent, it always sucks when your kids are sick. It is so much worse when there is nothing you can do about it. This? I’m worried about what this indicates for her as far as dealing with stress. Normally, she goes more for hyper-focus. Today, she was just kind of a mess. I fully expect to get a call from the school nurse at some point today.

The question for me is, how do we deal with this? If this is how she is trending for stress reactions, it is more than just a “nervous stomach” and runs into a situation where it may very well be beneficial to have a conversation with a doctor. I also don’t want to make it a bigger issue than it is. For now, I’m going to see how today goes. Getting asked out for the first time should be fun and exciting, not so stressful you’ve got to keep a trash bag in your lap all the way to school, just in case.

 

Author: TJ Fox

Slightly sane artist, book addict, wife and mother of 3 who is forever rethinking her place in this world.

21 thoughts on “Oh, The Drama!”

  1. Hoping she’s ok over the weekend and stress is gone. So nothing happened? Guess it’s a good lesson in worrying over something that may or may not happen? I have to relearn that lesson myself all the time!

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    1. I’m still not entirely sure what was going on. I kind of want to smack the kid for creating the mess. Apparently he told her that there was something he needed to ask her, but he wanted to build it up, then never said anything again. Oh, the kid has a “girlfriend” already. I made sure to make it clear to her that if this little snot asked her out and already has a girlfriend, she better tell him off for being a jerk. Thankfully, she was better the next day.

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  2. Wait it out and see what happens, and then just sit and talk to her and find out what the root of the problem is. Maybe she doesn’t like him but doesn’t want to say no. Middle school years are horrible and everything is hard and stressful. They dn’t know how to deal with their emotions yet. Just be there to help her out

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      1. MC is 15, but so far, he has been relatively drama free and I am stupidly grateful for that fact! Normally BG is too so that is part of why this whole thing threw me for a loop today. She is normally really level headed, intense, but level headed with the majority of stress coming from wanting to do well in school grade wise, not drama.

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      2. Oh….90% of my daughters stress is school work related. But there are these rules….for instance….my daughter was supposed to see John green with her bff. Her bff ended up with a make up hockey game. My kid asked me to go with her. I innocently asked why don’t you ask someone else…..welll…. I had to listen to a 30 minute lecture about how she can go to something with her bff, because you’re allowed to do something with the bff, but if you ask someone else, you run the risk of pushing off 10 other people, because you’ve now chosen a second best friend….very confusing….

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  3. Maybe she has a stomach bug as well but it’s just coinciding with the asking out timing? Just wondering. perhaps a little zen therapy and learning about how to relax when stressed? It’s scary and exciting all at once at that age and the drama, yikes! I remember it well. I hope she feels better soon and that it all goes well. ♥

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      1. Sadly, I don’t know what she actually thinks about the boy asking her out. I know they are friends, but up until now, she just hasn’t shown much interest in the whole “dating” thing. When I asked what she was going to do or what she wanted to happen, all I got was an “I don’t know”. That usually means she just doesn’t want to talk about it, but I could hear the underlying note of really not knowing. Honestly, I think that is where most of the stress is coming from. There is also a dance in a few weeks and she will be going for the first time since all of her friends begged. That puts a different weight on the “going out” as a 13 year old because it gives more weight to the whole concept.

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      2. Yes it does put more weight on it. At least all of her friends are going with her so that’s good. 13 is a hard age and life is so much different than when we were younger. I will send a prayer that all goes well for her. I am sure she doesn’t know either for it’s a tough time in life when everything’s changing. You’re a great mommy! You’ll help her through it. xo

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