Still Nothing, Still Waiting

Stormy Sunset

It has been nearly a month since I asked for help on my latest creative project. The first two people I asked for help, I haven’t heard a single peep from since I asked and they agreed. Two weeks since I asked, nicely, for updates or progress from the third one that agreed to help and was told that they would be getting to it that weekend, which didn’t happen and again, silence.

After not hearing a thing from any of those three, I caved and asked yet another person, who also eagerly agreed, even started but then stopped and, again, I haven’t heard a thing since. That was well over a week ago.

I’d mentioned to some friends that I was working on a new project, but wasn’t ready to talk about it yet. One of those friends sent a message the other day, genuinely interested in what I was working on since I haven’t mentioned it again. She has always been very supportive of any creative endeavors I’ve taken on in the past and is one of the ones I’d contemplated asking for help at a later stage, but I knew she was always really busy. I talked to her for a bit about what I was working on and she has volunteered to help.

Now I’m really torn. I need the help. This cannot be done alone. Hubby cannot be the only person that helps. At the same time, I don’t think I could handle yet another person I’m sitting around waiting on.

I despise having to ask in the first place and I’d feel like a shit person for pushing anyone because this is strictly volunteer. At the same time, if you have agreed to do something, you have taken on this responsibility, this commitment, you either do it or tell the person you can’t. I don’t understand how difficult that is. Four different people and not a single one of them has given me any kind of an update or a timeline or any indication if they are even working on it at all.

I sort of had a plan for moving forward with this and I need people at a later date. If I take this other friend up on her offer, I’ve shrunk my options for that later stage. I could just say screw it and do without. I could leave this where it is at and be satisfied that I made it that far, but I don’t think I can. If I move forward without those steps, though, I’m pushing this out there in a way that does not feel right.

That right there is why I hate relying on others. Too many times, they let me down. 3 of the 4 that agreed to help should understand how important and huge this is for me. That they are dropping the ball upsets, frustrates and pisses me off… it really hurts from at least one of them. I’m always more than willing to step in when they ask, and I’m asked often, yet I NEVER ask for anything in return. The one time I do and all I get is the sound of crickets. After they have agreed in the first place.

I’m going to have to make a decision. And soon, because I refuse to put my life on hold.

Author: TJ Fox

Slightly sane artist, book addict, wife and mother of 3 who is forever rethinking her place in this world.

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