Until I was asked to work on the LOTR/Hobbit cake, I haven’t really done much creatively or artistically for quite some time. I just haven’t had the push or the drive to do so. The rare times I considered working on something, I found a way to talk myself out of it or to convince myself it wasn’t worth the time or the effort.
I think much of the reason behind it has been the upheaval and the stress of the last year. Now that things are settling down and I’m finding a new sense of what is normal, I’ve not only been bitten by the creative muse, but given one hell of a kick in the ass. I’ve joked around with Hubby that it kind of feels like I’ve been possessed, that something took up residence inside my head and decided not only was I going to get creative, but I’d do so in a completely new and unexpected way and that it would utterly consume me.
The last week or so has been dedicated to working on that new project. I’m not quite ready to share it with the world yet, but I’m more excited about this one than I think I’ve ever been about any of my projects and that is saying something.
In an effort to ensure that I don’t just stop there and never do anything with it, I’ve been laying some ground work and cleaning things up around here. I’ve merged all of my blogs into one and under a new name. I found trying to keep up with all the different places was just too much and became overwhelming, so I stopped. Hopefully these changes will make it less intimidating and I’ll be more willing to get back to what I enjoy.
This insane burst has kept me from reading, which is kind of messing with my head. This is probably the longest I’ve gone without reading a book in over 5 years. If I weren’t so distracted trying to get things done and working on research, I think I’d be going through withdrawal.
The last weeks have been eye opening for me. I’ve learned that things I never even thought about doing or that I’d enjoy are not out of the realm of possibility. I’ve also been reminded of how ridiculously, insanely lucky I am to have Hubby in my life, as he has done some amazing things to help me through this. Things I know, for him, are akin to torture and, if given a choice, he’d probably chose scrubbing toilets and cleaning up vomit over these, but he did them anyway because I asked and it was important to me.
This has been surreal and I’m still a little freaked out over this new thing. I want to shout about it and say “Look! Holy crap, look at that! I can’t believe that came from me!” I’m also utterly terrified. There is still so much that needs to be done before I can say “I’m done”, and I’m not even certain it will ever get there, but I’m going to do what has to be done to at least try.
TJ Fox: Sharing the Experience 